You’re listening to the Flourish and Grow to CEO podcast, episode nine,
Your lady boss making 50, do a hundred thousand in your business. And you’re ready to break through that six-figure barrier. Have you,
You’ve done a great job of creating a nice life as the ultimate gig master, but no, your inner CEO is calling you to greater heights. You’re in the right place. If you want to create and implement solid fundamentals in your business without sacrificing fun.
I’m Pam Ivey, I’m certified in small business management and I concentrate in the areas of training and certifying real estate assistance, coaching and mentoring entrepreneurs, and online business marketing growth and profit acceleration. And I take men and women business owners aged 40 plus to bucket list destinations around the world for a month at a time to work, explore, and live in community.
And I’m Jane Garee known as the sales strategist for the non-sales person. And I work with business owners who want to increase their conversion rate, shorten their sales cycle and have more impact and influence with the work they do all while having more fun with selling
Welcome everyone to the Flourish and Grow to CEO podcast. We’re so glad to have your ears today. We’ve got a really important topic we’ll be exploring today, and we’re really sure that you’ll get at least one aha and some interesting food for thought. So today’s topic is you, you as the business owner, but also you as the whole person. So think personal development, personal care, and even self-preservation. And think about it this way. As the business owner, you are the asset and your business for most of us, we’re the creator of the intellectual property for our company. You are most likely the one providing your customers and clients, whether that be a done for you or a done with you, service coaching or delivering a course or a membership program. So you are the creator and the essence of your business, and we have to protect you. So let’s dive right in to today’s focus, which again is you. Hey, Jane, how are you doing today? I’m good. How are you? Awesome. I am really excited to talk about this because well, we talk about, you know, the business foundations and all of the pillars. I think you weaves into every single one of those pillars.
So let’s start off, you know, we had a discussion about this yesterday because when we are planning for our podcasts, we always meet and chat. And the thing that I think we got most excited talking about was separating your business success from your personal worth,
Right? Yeah. This is such a big deal for all of us. And I don’t think any of us really realizes how big of a deal it is until you’re, you’re in the throws of it. So I’m really looking forward to diving into this topic today.
Absolutely. When somebody asked me, who are you? You know, I immediately think of who I am professionally. So I’ll say I’m a coach or I, uh, provide online training, that kind of thing. I really have a tough time separating the personal knee from the business. Me, do you feel the same way
At times? I do absolutely a time. It’s become easier over the course of the 10 years that I’ve had my business to gain a different level of separation from the persona that who I am is what I do. But yes, it’s a real thing to be able to realize that who you are, isn’t what you do.
You’re much better at it than me. Cause I’ve been at this for nearly 20 years. I’ll be celebrating my 20th year in online business in February. And I’m still acquainting me with my business success. It’s a really tough hump to kind of get over.
It is a very tough hump to get over. And a lot of people struggle with it indefinitely and some people move more through it. And I think it’s just the nature of it. You know, I have a lot of things. Number one, it’s the nature of the programming and the stories that you’ve had as a child and that you grew up with. If you had parents where you were only as lovable as your performance, then your entire self-worth is going to be wrapped up into what you do and then therefore the success of your business. So number one, it can just be the programming and the stories. Number two, I think a lot of times where people get their, who they are wrapped up into, what they do is when they’re not intentionally choosing their lifestyle and then defining it. So they just go to build a business and that it’s wildly successful, but they never think to define what wildly successful is. And they never think about, okay, a wildly successful business that looks like this is going to create a personal life. That potentially looks like this. So the second thing I think that people really get caught up in is when they just go gangbusters in their business and they’re determined to make the business successful, but they really don’t think about making themselves successful. That I always call is don’t be so busy creating a lifestyle that you forget to create a life
That is huge. That’s I think an epiphany for a number of people, you really have to define what you actually want. Do you want that dollar business? Do you really want that? Is it it’s something else that we were talking about, right? The two of us have really defined what we want out of life and for both of us, that million dollar business, isn’t it definitely used to be, for me, that was the big number that I wanted to attain. And then I took a look at all the work and the time that was involved in creating that million dollar business. And I thought, you know what, that isn’t for me, especially in the last, I’d say five years or so. I’ve really determined. And I know that you have to Jane that travel is a really important part of our lives.
Yeah. Hugely important.
Yeah. So working all kinds of hours, isn’t going to lend itself well to exploring new places around the world. That’s for sure.
Yeah. That goes to the, to the point of really choosing your lifestyle and defining it and being really crystal clear about what it is that you want. And there’s nothing wrong with million dollar multimillion dollar businesses. And then there’s something wrong with, I mean, I’ve got, I’ve got clients who, they, they have a right around six figures that just, it gives them everything they want in their life. And then I have clients who have multimillion dollar businesses and that gives them the life that they want. There’s always going to be some, I hate to use the word, but it’s truly, always going to be a little bit of sacrifice. Yes. You can have a multimillion dollar business and be jet setting all around the globe. It’s just that the ability to sink into relaxing or the longevity of the time away from your business, things like that, they’re just different.
So it’s not that one is good. It’s not that one is bad. It’s just different. You need to be very attentive to the lifestyle that you want to live. I know as an example for my clients who range from making a hundred to the mid six figures and I have quite a few of them, their number one goal is really just freedom, freedom to not have to manage a team. Freedom, to not have to sit in front of their computer freedom, to not have, to be addressing some element of their business every single day. And what they have found is that that range from kind of like a hundred to the mid six figures. Yes, of course they have a team, but they have a different kind of team that requires a different kind of leadership. It’s not as hands-on as it would be with something that’s, that’s breaking a million dollars and above and beyond.
So again, it’s not a right or wrong thing. It’s not a good or bad thing. It’s just being very, very certain of what it is that you want and the lifestyle that you want to maintain. And this is where I see so many people just start getting off track to watch it. It can be anything from frustrating to heartbreaking. Can I share the story of my first mentor? Yeah, absolutely. It’s so interesting. Yeah. This is a woman that I happen to adore and she tells this story out in public. So I’m not telling any secrets here, although I will refrain from using her name, but she was very, very first mentor. I love her. She’s just she’s great. And when I started working with her, she had made 250,000 the year, right before I came into work with her and she made 500,000 the year that I worked with her.
And then the next year she was up over six and she was so happy. She loved her life. She had these small intimate year, long group programs. There were 10 of us in it. I was one of those people. She had different little workshops. She just had everything set up. She loved it. She loved her life. She loved her home. She loved her family. She just really felt like she was living a life that was delicious. Loved it. And then of course she crossed over the $600,000 Mark and her mentors started to push her to, you got to hit that million dollars. You gotta hit that million dollar Mark. You’re a million dollar business woman. And she is, and she was, and she could be again, if she wanted to, because she’s got everything it takes to run a million dollar plus business. So at their advice.
And because I think she got caught up in the, yeah, I want to hit that million dollar Mark. And there’s a lot of great things about hitting that million dollar Mark. So she did, and she hit it the first year and we were all celebrating and she maintained it and went up a little bit the next year. But it was in the middle of year two at the million dollar Mark that she and I had a private conversation. And I said, you know, I just get the feeling that you’re not quite as happy as you used to be when you had a smaller dollar volume business. And she said, I’m not. And I said, yeah. And it also, I don’t think you’re probably making as much money now because the expenses and the outgo it’s higher. So I think your net income is probably a little bit lower.
And she said, it is. I said, I just have a feeling. You’re really this, isn’t your jam. This just isn’t your jam. Because now you’re managing a big staff. You’re managing several people on salary, which you have to have. If you’re at the million dollar Mark, you’ve got a lot of different moving pieces and it’s, she really moved into kind of skills that weren’t interesting to her. She could do it, but they just didn’t light her up. And she ended at the end of that year, she ended shutting down her million dollar business intentionally because she just really wasn’t happy. And I will never forget that phone call. And this came very early into my 10 years of owning my own business. So this was like year two or three of me owning my own business. And I thought, what a gift to be able to have that kind of no holds barred raw conversation with somebody that I very much admired and who had no problem saying, I am not happy trying to keep a million dollar business going and floating and growing.
It’s just not my thing. It takes up a different kind of energy. It takes up a different kind of time. And I was really very happy more at the six mid six figure Mark, where I didn’t have as much to manage. I didn’t have as much leadership of other people in a very formal way. And I could really dig into this deep one-on-one work with my client because that’s really what I do with clients plural. And she went back to doing that and she’s so much happier. So this was a really valuable lesson for be clear on what you want, not just the amount of money that you want to make. So you can kind of check the box off that you’d made X amount of dollars. And again, if that’s you great, there’s nothing wrong with it, but be very clear. I will tell you, you know, we’re speaking Pam to a group of women who are probably over 40, probably a little more over 50.
I know you and I are now in the 50 category and you start looking ahead and it’s the old, nobody on their deathbed ever says, Oh, I wish I would have spent more time in the office. So that’s a very real thing. And I wish somebody 10 years ago would have said to me, let’s map out the life that you want to live. Let’s put on the vision board, the kind of what you want your world to look like when you get up in the morning, what do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to interact with? Who do you want to be? Because if I would have had that clarity with some very specific boundaries and been able to put all of that into a plan, I can tell you the goals that I chased 10 years ago would have shifted.
And the frustration of chasing goals that aren’t really inherent to your happiness. That’ll drive your business down faster than anything else, because all that is is you’re just, you’re out of alignment. So you’ve got to get up every day and say, this is the kind of life that I want, not the lifestyle so much, but this is the kind of life that I want. This is what would make my life rich. This is what would make my life enjoyable. This is what would make my life feel like this was a worthy endeavor. I got up every day and I just steeped myself and who I want to be, how I want to make an impact and the, and the way that I want to walk through the world. You do that. And you’re going to create a business that you love and that loves you back instead of trying to create or chase something that was never really interesting to you in the first place.
How true? So that I think the moral of the story there is really be intentional about the business that you’re building, make sure it aligns with you. And when we’re talking about alignment, there’s something else that both you and I totally agree about is finding and working with your natural rhythm. So by that, I mean, if you’re a night owl, it’s okay to start a project at 10:00 PM, no matter what other people say. And what’s quote unquote, normal. If you are a night owl like Jane and I both are, and you get into that project. Cause I know I have my best ideas. I swear to God at midnight and I’m always wanting to dive right in. Don’t feel that you have to stick with the quote unquote norm, and I keep quoting, quoting it because nothing’s ever normal, but that you go to bed at 10:00 PM and you wake up at six, you got
To work with your natural rhythm of who you are, right? Yeah. Again, I wish somebody would have explained this to me 10 years ago and really given me permission to do this because this has been a battle I’ve been fighting for the better part of 10 years. I don’t really fight it too much anymore. Although I sometimes do, but it’s this, yes, I’m an italic. You Pam. And I was laughing when you were talking about getting great ideas at midnight because I see everything pinging up on my phone. Like we all do and I’ll think it’s midnight. What you, she said midnight. I read it. And I think, why am I opening up downpour flow? That’s what we do. So you and I are fortunate though, in working together, we have the same kind of night owl tendencies, but for years I would beat myself up because I didn’t get up at 5:00 AM.
And by 8:00 AM, I didn’t have my three miles in and my first white paper done and my meditation and my gourmet breakfast cooks, you know? And so I would just see all these postings of these people who would get up at the crack of Dawn and truly they were accomplishing more by 9:00 AM than probably I really do all day. I hate to say that it’s not like I’m some kind of slop, but I would just beat myself up over it because I thought what is wrong with me? That I can’t get up at the crack of Dawn and do nine loads of laundry and come up with the next chemistry products that’ll save the world or something. But I just, I don’t. And I won’t, and I was talking to one again, one of my mentors and she said, you gotta go with your own rhythm.
When are you most likely to get your best work done? When does your inspiration come? Because getting up at 5:00 AM, first of all, two things getting up at 5:00 AM, just so you can say you got up at 5:00 AM and having an 18 hour day, just so you can say you have an 18 hour day, how much work actually got done during those 18 hours. And I thought, well, yeah, that makes a lot of sense because I know when I had my corporate sales job, we time blocked everything. And I always said to the team time block in a way that works for you, if you’re really good on the phone in the morning, and you want to be in appointments in the afternoon that are out of the office, then do that. You’ve got to go with your natural rhythm. There’s no cookie cutter formula.
Your success is going to be dependent upon what am I going to best perform? What am I genuinely excited to do this thing? So that’s the first thing, how much work are you actually getting done? And then the second thing when I started thinking about it is those people that get up at 5:00 AM and Pam, you and I know this cause we stay up till midnight or one in the morning or something. There’s people that get up at 5:00 AM. They’re offline shutdown. I’m ready to go to bed by 8:00 PM. And I still have four to five hours.
And so I’m not knocking people who get up at the crack of Dawn. I actually, I find it very impressive. There’s still a part of me that wishes I could do that. The thing that I’m trying to point out is, again, it’s not a good or a bad or right or wrong. You need to find your own rhythm and you need to honor that. And it’s very much that whole curated lifestyle that we live in now. So when you see, or you hear people talking about getting up at the crack of Dawn, just remember a lot of them seriously. Cause I know a lot of them, they take naps in the afternoon, whereas you probably don’t, you get up later and they’re shut down and they can’t do anything. And they’re certainly not working after. It’s really not even by 8:00 PM. Most of them shut down much earlier than that. So you’re putting in the same amount of work. You’re just honoring your rhythm and that’s okay.
I finally understand that it took me a long time and I really fought it. But something else that you touched on there was time blocking. And I think that’s really important to know when you’re at your peak. So when you produce your best work and really set boundaries for yourself, because we want to take care of you, that you time block you time, block, time away from your business as well. So you make sure you get away from that desk away from that computer screen. I think it’s really important. Part of self-care. It took me a long time cause I used to really relish in the fact that I was a workaholic, but now I think it’s just a sad situation and we need to refuel so that we come back and we’re energized and we’re creative. So I know of one entrepreneur who for every hour she works, she takes at least five minutes and she walks something that I attained to I’ve really want to get to is just getting away because it really does foster that creativity and much more energy in your work.
Yeah. There’s a whole science behind that taking break. We’re actually designed to work in 90 minute sprints. So peak performers, top performers. They talk about this a lot, set a little timer for 90 minutes, work 90 minutes and then get up and take a 15 minute break. It’s that whole sharpening your saw
Exactly or the Pomodoro technique is another great one that really works well for me, where you work intensely for a given period of time, Pomodoro, I think is 25 minutes. And then you take a 15 minute break and I mean, you’re working intensely. So it really helps to refuel you throughout the day. But you know, saying, taking a break is beautiful, but we also need to have personal interests and hobbies because I was a workaholic. I didn’t have those. So I had to figure out honestly like 10 years ago, five years ago I ate breathed and slept business. So any book that I read was always business. It was never for pleasure. And in maybe even a little longer than five years, I’ve picked up reading again as a hobby. So I read when I go to bed at one o’clock or two o’clock, I really read for another hour or two and it’s a non-fiction Nope.
It’s fiction. I always get the two mixed up, it’s fiction and it really helps me to dive into a story. I also had to figure out what hobbies, what kind of things do you like to do? And that’s sounds so ridiculous to me, but because I had been so focused on business for so long, I didn’t know what kind of hobbies that I could do. So it’s ridiculous with the lockdown and the pandemic. I’ve taken up paint by numbers. So it may sound silly, but I’ve got really intricate kits, really intricate patterns. And it really takes my mind away from everything else. And I think that’s really important too, to recharge refresh and just get away, get some personal time.
Yeah. It goes back to choosing the kind of life that you want. And it’s, it just makes you a more interesting person, which not coincidentally will tend to make you a better business person.
So have you ever met one of those people? They’re smart and they’re funny and they just seem to know a lot about a lot of different things and they can converse on basically any topic and they just lend this sort of, I don’t even know the word for it right now. They just kind of lend this amazing depth. That would be the best word I could think of this depth to any conversation they’re in. And I can guarantee you those kinds of people have a wide range of hobbies. They do things other than their work. And it’s really important for stress management. Stress is a part of our daily lives, especially in our culture in North America where we are, everything revolves around work these days. So we need to keep our stress levels down to keep you healthy, because remember you’re the asset in your business.
You know, as humans, it’s something we all have in our lives, but there are things that you can do about it. Unmanaged stress can make it difficult to focus or think things through properly. All of these can lead to bad business decisions and they can hinder your productivity. The more stressed you get, the more frustrated and impatient you might feel, which in turn can cause even more stress. So here are some great ways to fight stress or work with stress to make it better that I found from dreams inspire reality.com. So the first thing is to identify and acknowledge the stress. Your stressors could be several things or one major thing, determine what stresses you and quickly do an assessment of what you have control over changing and what you don’t at this point, having identified that you are stressed, you know what the problem is and can create solutions and put in place prevention techniques.
If you identify that you are stressed, but you don’t acknowledge how you can address it, de-stressing simply can’t begin. So identify and acknowledge. Another technique is to build a list. So make a to-do list or break down your tasks into the steps needed to get them done. It’s easy to get flustered when everything seems large, a whole lot and overwhelming, reduce your confusion by seeing exactly what needs to be done when and set an alarm or a reminder of you need to list the pros and cons of things that you’re trying to finalize. Can’t control the outcome, more cons than pros, easily acts that stressor out of your psyche. Maybe it’s still not an easy conclusion, enlist the advice of a trusted friend or an advisor. Here’s another great tip. Take a moment or several. So stop everything you’re doing and take a moment to breathe.
Literally deep breathing exercises sends a message to your brain to calm down and to relax. So assess how much time you may need having potentially tight deadlines to take a few moments, to control your breathing in your thoughts. You may need more than a few moments and might need an entire vacation. So make an assessment and follow through with it. Sometimes stress can be handled by talking it out. Sometimes you need a professional ear. Sometimes just talking to a friend and venting will do make more time for uploading your thoughts and socializing with people you’re comfortable around. This is a great balance for the entrepreneur who needs stress management. Another one is to learn when to let go. And when to say, no, I know this is a biggie for a lot of us. Typically a, a core characteristic of entrepreneurs is their strong belief in their product services or business. It usually carries across the board and may make it difficult to sever ties in something. They put their support behind that no longer serves them well learning to let go of these things is a big stress reducer learning to acknowledge when your plate is full and to say no is also difficult for entrepreneurs, but it really is key for stress management. It’s good to remember that you can’t please everyone and it’ll cause faster burnout trying to do everything to please everyone than trying to be steady and consistent.
Be at peace with your decision; prepare yourself to make a decision. So when you’ve made your decision, you don’t dwell on it. Wondering if you’ve made the right choice about something is the easiest way to stress. It’s natural to wonder if you’ve made the right choice on an important decision, but try your best not to be hasty. And when you’re running out of time, never hesitate to ask for more help, make the choice and then let it go. Next is take advice that is sound and effective. The seeing too many cooks spoil the broth also applies to advice. Getting advice can become stressful when they’re too many conflicting messages take from me. Advice only what’s practical and sound. This isn’t a science, but the pros and cons method really helps to eliminate the less than optimal options. A really great tip here is to appreciate your current situation.
Sure. You could be in a better situation. Having made that decision, but things could also be worse focusing on the negative, what could have been or what you want a situation to be is stressful. So learn how to be thankful for what is and where you are in life. No one’s telling you to be comfortable, but to remember that your journey through life is a process. Stressing won’t propel you forward faster, but could indeed hold you back from the growth you so badly desire. Sometimes it’s best to handle a stressor head on don’t procrastinate. Be decisive, getting stressed by actually committing to push through stress is a great way to relieve it. Some situations just don’t allow us for breaks or pauses only being at the completing end of the task will relieve you. So get her done. Try to be your best. Not perfect.
Sometimes done is better than perfect. And that’s actually one of my mantras quality is definitely of the utmost importance, but being too particular can stress you out. Trying to always maintain that standard, even when it may not be possible. This is especially true when you will not always have control of all aspects of the end of a product aimed to go above and beyond equally understanding that if your effort lands among the stars, that’s still pretty awesome. Delegate work tasks. At some point micro-managing, as an entrepreneur will dry you out. It’ll just bog you down and stretch you out, delegate work tasks and consider them complete ensure you have team members that are competent and trustworthy, that you can leave in charge of important tasks. Delegating to incompetent persons can stress you out just as much as trying to do it yourself. So make sure you get great people on your team that you can count on. And the last bit of advice for managing stress is to play as hard as you work. So vacations are nice, but you can’t get one every time you get stressed. Unfortunately we can’t. This means that placing greater importance on balancing your workload consistently and scheduling breaks
As a part of your routine is vitally important to helping you combat stress.
So another point for the topic of you is personal development, right?
Yeah. Personal there isn’t a top performer peak performers, successful person on the planet who doesn’t make a practice of self-development. And usually on a daily basis, absolutely take a car. It doesn’t have to be business related, but it’s just furthering you and helping with your personal development, personal development. That’s really the grounding of inner game that we talk about so much. So it could be reading books, taking courses. The thing that you want to be aware of is what are you telling yourself? Well, how are you leading yourself? You know, if you want to step into leadership, the first person you need to be able to lead and lead well and lead strongly and lead with compassion is you. So what is going on in the space between your ears? Are you understanding yourself more?
Are you committed to really doing a deep dive into who you are and what makes you tick and how you show up and how other people perceive that you show up? What are you doing to stretch your faith? What are you doing to stretch your skills? What are you doing to really have an understanding of how people around you might work and what you could do to be an effective leader? So without stepping into the leadership role of you, it’s really actually pretty impossible to lead anyone else into anything because where is everybody looking the leader? So if you’re falling down on your own job of leading your own life, that’s the first place you want to get addressed, really thinking about you, it’s all personal development. This is a space where we really have to come to understand that we’re protecting you, your energy and your creativity, because nothing else can exist in your business if you’re not there. All right, well that wraps up another episode of the flourish and grow to CEO podcast. I hope you did get some ahas and some really interesting food for thought there. And we’d really like to say, take care of you because as we said again, your, the asset in your business without you, your business can’t exist. So go on, go have a nice break, go do something for yourself and take good care of you.
Well, that’s a wrap everyone. Thanks for joining us this week on the Flourish and Grow to CEO Podcast. Be sure to visit our website at flourish.biz. That’s F L O U R I S h.biz, where you can subscribe to the shows in iTunes, Stitcher, or via RSS. So you’ll never miss an episode. You can also find our show notes and resources there too. And while you’re at it, if you found value in this show, we’d love for you to leave a rating on iTunes. Or if you’d simply tell a friend about the show that would sure help us out too. Now get out there and.