Welcome to Flourish & Grow to CEO, this is episode 34 with intentional life coach, Sallie Wagner
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Well, welcome back everyone to the Flourish & Grow to CEO Podcast. We have a special treat for you here today. We are interviewing intentional life coach Sallie Wagner and she’s the What’s Next Strategist. I absolutely love it. And especially for us gals of a certain age, I think all of us have asked what’s next? Sally owns and operates Intentional Life Coaching, guiding you to identify and get rid of beliefs that hold you back so you can fully embrace life’s challenges in order to discover, create and live the life that makes you come alive and absolutely love what’s next and international speaker, author, trainer, and intentional life coach Sallie’s workshops and customized coaching programs inspire you and give you the tools you need to achieve the results you want in your life. Sallie is also a licensed attorney, a licensed real estate broker, and a real estate instructor. Sound like anyone familiar me. I’m talking about serial entrepreneurs. She co-owns and operates brokerage and compliance resources, providing brokerage and compliance consulting services to real estate brokerage companies throughout Florida. She also calls and operates Prosperity Real Estate School, providing exceptional Florida real estate educational opportunities throughout the world. So welcome Sallie. We’re so happy to have you here.
Sallie Wagner (02:55):
Thank you so much. I appreciate the opportunity to be with you today.
Awesome. Well, today we’re going to be talking about your intentional life coaching, which I love the sounds of. Can you describe for us what you do for your clients?
Sallie Wagner (03:11):
Absolutely. I think you kind of covered those main points in the introduction. I helped him identify and get rid of all of those limiting beliefs that we all have, right. And that is so that we can really fully embrace and integrate all of the challenges that we face in life. And then we can get to the point where we can discover and live the life that makes us come alive rather than the life that’s been programmed for us by the alien overlords and all those other outside sources.
Amen sister. The aliens overlords. I love that. Well, you know, you touched on such a main point for us at Flourish & Grow because our very first foundational pillar is mindset (inner game). And I think it’s the key to everything else. Wouldn’t you agree?
Sallie Wagner (04:02):
Yeah, absolutely. Uh, you know, there are lots of parts to this. Mindset is probably the most important, um, my little, not so secret formula that adds the spice to everything is MSG mindset, skillset, get off your asset. Um, but nothing is going to happen unless you have that right mindset to begin with. I love
That’s MSG, but it’s so true. Change your mindset, change your life, right? Absolutely. Yeah. So I love what you’re doing in the world. What kind of clients do you work with?
Sallie Wagner (04:38):
Primarily women of a certain age, as you said? Uh, not necessarily age dependent though. It really is all about where we are in our lives and that can happen at any age and any stage it’s when we get to those critical pivotal points where we’ve experienced dramatic change, like birth, death, marriage, divorce, job loss, job, change, all those kinds of things that are very dramatic and also less dramatic, no less significant change. I call it life creep. When you just wake up one day and wonder what happened with your life. And, and we all have those moments as well. And when we get to that place, we start asking those questions like, what’s next? You know? And sometimes we ask it kind of dreading, oh my gosh, what’s next? The idea is to ask it with enthusiasm and curiosity and joy. Oh, what’s next. As if it’s a page Turner, you know, we just can’t wait to find out what’s next.
Absolutely. And I love the term life Crete because I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately. I have kind of designed my, the life that I want to live, like going forward. But I know a lot of people, especially women, because we just have so much on us. I really got to be honest. We kind of let life happen to us. So I love that women are saying what’s next.
Sallie Wagner (06:12):
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. It’s just life happening to us. It’s it’s, it’s not okay. You know, and especially when we, when you do get a certain point in your life and you realize it’s just, we’ve got, I know for me, I’ve got more time behind me probably than I really do ahead of me. And so I’ve never been a fan of letting life happen to me, but I know that that feeling has accelerated the older I get, which is I want to live by intention and by design and really creating the life that I want, not just making the best of what happens to me or not even just, Hey, this is all good. And I’m going to appreciate it. There’s there’s one step further, which is, which is creating it.
Sallie Wagner (06:55):
Yes, absolutely. Discover, create, and then live that life. Uh, it’s not, you know, we, we hear about those stages that happens to me. No, it doesn’t. It happens by me. Yeah. And there’s something even farther beyond that, that happens through me and as me. And so as we move through those stages, we really take the reins and reclaim the power over our own lives. What are the top three things that somebody can do as it relates to their mindset, to know that they’re really on the path to creating their life and not just responding to it. Yeah. So one of the first things that you can do is to look at your perspective. If you remember the old story about the blind men and the elephant, they all perceive the elephant in different ways, trunk, tail, tusks, and so on. And they were all right, and they were also all wrong because their perception was incomplete.
Sallie Wagner (07:59):
All of our perception is incomplete. And when we understand that we have gone a long way toward mindset, because perception is ultimately a choice we can choose to have a different perception. We can choose to tell ourselves a different story about what is happening. And it’s not, you know, like Peter pan, just thinking happy thoughts, it’s actually, you know, rewriting the story of our lives so that we become the hero of the story rather than the victim and things happen to us, right? No, uh, we w we reclaim that power and that has to do with perception. Uh, another one is focus and, and you kind of alluded to this, you know, whereas our attention and focus is not necessarily attention, but it’s our will. And how do we manage our to move ourselves forward? Are we, are we really putting our attention and our energy on things that are holding us back because cause that’s comfortable and that’s what we’ve always done, or are we putting our attention and our energy on things that move us forward. And then the third thing is, uh, our reason, our ability to think, you know, we have lots of middle activity. We’re not always thinking. And when we change our thinking, we change our world. So those are just three small aspects of mindset that we can start to work on to change it. And, and that is what takes us to the second part of the MSG, the skillset, because many times we need a new skill set to have the right mindset.
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Sallie Wagner (10:48):
That’s really good. We need the right skill set to have the right mindset because it could go the other way a little bit too, can’t it? Or no? Um, in what way you have the right mindset to have the right skillset. Yeah, absolutely. It’s they’re not, uh, you know, like a linear progression it’s, yeah, they’re all interconnected and interrelated and one can compliment and help build the other. So it’s w we can’t just say, oh, it’s all about mindset. And then just sit back and wait for things to come. Right. It’s we have to have the skills, uh, we have to have the action to put it all into place. Yeah,
This is so interesting, Sallie. Cause I’m just, I keep thinking, Sallie is an attorney and she’s a real estate trainer. How did you ever get into this?
Sallie Wagner (11:42):
Oh, golly. Uh, so a very high level overview when I started in college more decades ago than I care to think about. I started out a physics major and then I moved to theology. So it was physics to metaphysics and I got distracted and went to law school and did a lot of other stuff in life. Um, and I always had those passions that the science and the theology and how they come together, at least in my understanding and a lot of other people’s understanding as well. And so, you know, it was kind of like time to throw the alien overlords out of my life and really get back to what that earlier vision was that I had for myself. And that’s when I kind of got a hit over the head with it from the universe that life coaching was the way to do that.
Was it something that happened to you as you got a little bit older? I think was,
Sallie Wagner (12:45):
Was a culmination of a lot of things, a lot of circumstances of life, you know, and the things that I mentioned, those dramatic changes, my first husband died, the loss of my sister and my parents and all of those things that life brings to us. And we want to make sense of it. We want to move forward. We, you know, we don’t want to just stay there in the valley. We want to keep moving out of the valley so that we really are living our own lives rather than the life that is holding us back. So those kinds of things, and just that epiphany, I suppose, uh, that came to me and kind of redirected my focus toward teaching, toward coaching, toward mentoring. And once I started paying attention to those things, um, everything changed and everything fell into place for me.
How interesting, and I think from a mentoring standpoint with your varied background, man, it would be just special to work with you, for sure.
Sallie Wagner (13:53):
Thank you. I, I love working with people and seeing those changes that they discover and manifest in their own lives.
And it is interesting, you know, those pivotal moments in our lives. I too lost a husband. It changed my whole, the whole trajectory of my life was changed. Your mortality comes bubbling up to the surface and the thing, you know, that was always holding you back before, you’re saying, you know what to heck with it. I might not be here tomorrow. Let’s do it. It’s really interesting.
Sallie Wagner (14:23):
Yeah. I think those issues when we confront them up close, uh, really do have a dramatic change in our lives.
It’s just always interesting to learn, you know, when people change careers or change, I mean, drastically change kind of their focus. It’s so interesting to understand what the catalyst was for that. So, very interesting. Thank you for sharing that, Sallie. Sure,
Sallie Wagner (14:50):
Absolutely. Sallie, what are some of the mindset shifts that you see with your clients that actually allows them to pivot? So I think there are probably three major categories and the first one would be fear to face and not necessarily face in a religious sense, but faith in terms of faith in themselves, that they will prevail and they will persevere and face in terms of how they find meaning and value in their own lives that they have chosen. Not that is imposed on them by other messages that come to them. And I, if you can indulge me, I recall two or three years ago, I was listening to a very successful business woman talk about her success. And somebody asked her what’s her motivation and her answer was fear. And I kind of cringed a little bit because I thought, first of all, I don’t think I would say that in a room full of people that I don’t know.
Sallie Wagner (15:58):
And then second, I felt sad because it is sad when we’re motivated by fear. It, you know, it’s like paraphrasing, Reverend Dr. Michael Beckwith. He says, we’re often pushed by fear until we are pulled by the vision of the life we are called to create for ourselves. And that’s the true vision that we are here to fulfill, right? Not to be pushed by fear, not to be pushed around by fear, but to be called to that higher vision for ourselves. So I think that’s a huge shift from fear to faith. And another one is perfection to worthiness, and that’s always been a huge one for me. Um, because you know, and a lot of us, right, we have that belief that we have to be perfect. And I tell people it’s not what you don’t know that holds you back. It’s what you do. No, that’s not true that holds you back because so many times the solution to our challenges is not to learn more.
Sallie Wagner (17:11):
It’s not to learn what we don’t know, it’s to unlearn what we know that’s not true. And that’s a big one. And I can look back at certain instances in my own life and see where that belief that’s clearly not true. Held me back from doing things and from living my own life. And as I peel back the layers of that onion, you probably have heard of the seven levels deep strategy. And my thinking is that it’s just a good start cause I can deceive myself seven levels deep all day long. It’s really like infinite onion. And as I pull back the layers of that onion on perfectionism, what I’ve find a lot of people and myself included is that sense of worthiness. And as we develop the sense of worthiness, then we can leave away. That need to be perfect because for a lot of people, perfectionism is about that sense of I have to be perfect in order to be worthy.
Sallie Wagner (18:20):
Yeah. So that’s a huge pivot. And then probably the third one that kind of brings it all together is limitation and power. We have so many limiting beliefs. We’re constantly bombarded with all these messages that we have to be a certain way and look a certain way and wear certain clothes and own certain cars in order to be worthy and loved. And when we get rid of all of those limiting beliefs, then we can reclaim, and I say that a lot, but it’s powerful to me. We can reclaim power over our own lives rather than giving it away to other people and other programs, I call it mind apps. So I think those would probably be the three major pivots that I see for a lot of people. Yeah.
That’s I think that’s very empowering just hearing about those, cause it really makes one thing. Absolutely. So will get us into thinking mode with those. Can you give us some ideas of how to get into action for your get off your assets? Yes.
Sallie Wagner (19:34):
We all talk about goals, right. And we all know how important it is to have goals. And, and some of the statistics that we have are fascinating to me, um, did you know that 80% of Americans don’t have goals for their lives and just think that would be high yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
Yeah. Or low, sorry. Right, right. Yeah. More than that.
Sallie Wagner (19:58):
Yeah. And, and just thinking about your goals puts you in the top 20%, right. And you increase your chances of achieving those goals to 43%. Well, that makes sense. Cause if you don’t have goals, then you have zero chance of achieving them. Right. But just thinking about it, oh, I have this goal you’re 43% of the way there. But the shift in thinking, and this goes back to mindset and perspective and where our energy and focus are going rather than think about goals. I encourage people to think about processes and systems, because if we’re constantly focused on our goals, we’re living in a constant state of failure and we don’t want, we don’t want to do that. Right. W w we want to live in a state of success and achievement. And so when I create a system and a process to get me toward the goal, I mean, obviously we, we are not saying throw goals out the window.
Sallie Wagner (21:06):
We want goals, but the focus is on the system and the process, something that I can easily and readily and willingly and joyfully do every single day. And when I work the system in the process, I am successful. So we kind of move away from too much focus on the goal. And we look at that system and process so long intro to get to the steps. The first thing is to write down that system and that process. And when you write it down, you have increased your chances of success to 56%. Wow. And so we all know people who have goals, but they’re more like pipe dreams, right. Pie in the sky kind of stuff. And what’s missing is the system. And the process. When you write down your system and your process, then you have increased your chances of success. And then the second step would be go a little bit farther when you share that system and process with somebody and you think up concrete steps, action, steps that you can take every single day to implement that system.
Sallie Wagner (22:28):
And that process, then you increase your chances of success to 64%. So we’re, I’m liking the odds here, me too. And then the third step is the accountability factor super important because we don’t live separated from people, right. We ha we have to have that interaction. And when you share your goals with somebody and take the additional step of reporting back weekly on your progress about, did you follow your system? Did you follow your, your process? You increase your chances of success to 76%. That’s the, the method that I would suggest to people, you can increase your chances of success to 76% by first of all, developing your system and your processes that will get you in that right direction. Because the goal is to just keep moving in the right direction, right? You can, you can get from New York to California with your headlights on, and you can see, you know, however many feet ahead of you.
Sallie Wagner (23:42):
You don’t have to see all the way to California, but you can head in the right direction and you’ll get there. So that’s the goal of the system and the process keep heading in the right direction, write it down so that you’re building that accountability factor, share it with somebody and then do weekly progress reports. And it’s amazing. I was coaching with someone recently, and these were the steps that we were following. And as we came to the end of the coaching relationship, as she was like, and I’m already putting in place, my new accountability buddy, uh, so that I know that I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing because she saw the results
That is beautiful. And I think it’s even better because it’s pretty much exactly what we do at flourish and grow. But I really like that instead of just a goal, because having just a goal, has you always looking to the future? You’re not living in the moment. So staying present with your action steps on a daily, weekly, however, you know, whatever interval is keeping you mindful and in the moment. And I really liked that too, but it’s not, you know, it’s not this pie in the sky dream, you’re actually writing down the steps you need to take to show your mind to that. It is absolutely achievable.
Sallie Wagner (25:17):
Yes, absolutely. And as you do that, you’re rewriting your story, right? So it all goes back to mindset and you’re developing these new skillsets that will get you there. And you’re taking the action that is necessary to get you there and it’s goal setting to the present, right? So I had this fabulous goal that is five years or 10 years, or however many years in the future. And I’m, I’m looking at what can I do today? Concrete step that will move me in the direction of that goal and I’m doing it. And, and another thing is we need to build failure into our system because failure is part of the system. It’s not an outcome, it’s a resource that we can manage, just like all the other resources in our lives. And when we make it part of the system, then it doesn’t misdirect us from where we’re headed very well said.
Sallie Wagner (26:21):
And I think the key really is Sallie. And I’m so glad that we’re talking about both sides of the coin, which is the mindset and the skill sets, because I know even in my own life, I would have, I’d have a great mindset around something, but honestly, I really wasn’t taking action. You know, I didn’t have the skills or I thought maybe I very rarely think I don’t need the skills. It was probably more like, I just didn’t want to take the, or I wasn’t in the mood or to take action. Rather. I just didn’t feel like taking action. I wasn’t in the mood. I probably was a little hopped up on my mindset, which I can do sometimes where I just I’m so adamant that this thing can happen, that I neglect what very clear action steps into place. And then on the flip side, I’ve been on the flip side where I’ve just taken a lot of action, but deep down, I really don’t believe, I don’t believe my own press.
Sallie Wagner (27:08):
You know, thinking, I don’t know that this is actually really going to work or I haven’t dug deep enough to think what, how do I actually feel about these actions that I’m taking? So the magic combination to me has always seemed to be what is your mindset around the strategic action plan that you have so that you can get results. And then what is your skillset around the strategic action plan that you have that you believe that you can actually, it does absolutely right. It’s the convergence of all of those things, right? And it also involves a little, uh, you know, peeling back the layers of that onion, because we, we want to push ourselves to ask the right questions about why are we doing it? Am I, am I working toward this goal? Because it’s important to me or because somebody told me it’s important, right?
Sallie Wagner (28:01):
And when we answer those questions, ultimately, where, where the question then becomes who, who am I, when I’m not doing all these things when I’m not chasing my goals, when I’m not advancing my career and running my business and being a parent, a child, a spouse, a partner who am I when I’m not doing that? And when we answer that question, then the goals that are meaningful to us become apparent. And it’s no longer just because somebody told us it’s important, or it should be important. This sounds so simple, but I really think this is the key to happiness in life for each of us individually, which then collectively would get us collectively where we want to go. Which is, are you doing the thing that you were supposed to be doing? Are you doing what you know that you need and want to do?
Sallie Wagner (28:58):
Are you being true to who you are? Who are you, and are you following your path? And I think if, if more of us would get into alignment, our mindset and our skillset and push forward with those two pieces, I just, I got to believe the world would be a different place because I think it’s going off track that causes unhappiness. And then the unhappiness there, that’s where everything starts to unravel. Absolutely. And I, I’ve certainly experienced that. You know, everything looks pretty good on paper and it feels pretty yucky inside. And I know at critical points in my life, I have said aloud. If I don’t do this, I will cease to live. Not that I thought I was going to die, but just that I was not going to live my life. And I think a lot of us say, you know, it’s kind of like Thoreau said, the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Yeah, we do. And the people who reached that point where they say, I don’t want to be desperate anymore. And, and the pain of that desperation outweighs the reluctance to change. And, and so we push ourselves to the other side of what’s comfortable.
All right. That was some pretty heady stuff I got to say. Now we’re going to lighten up a little bit, Sallie. We have some rapid fire questions that we did not share with you. So you didn’t, you don’t know what’s coming. She doesn’t know what’s coming. So they’re just quick questions. So whatever pops into your head, okay. This allows us to get to know you a little bit better. Are you an early bird or a night owl early? Are you a dog or a cat person? Dog texting or talking? Texting. Oh, surprised me invisibility or super strength. Super strength. What’s one of the top things on your bucket list.
Sallie Wagner (31:06):
Speaker 5 (31:08):
Gosh, that’s going to be a hard one to choose.
Sallie Wagner (31:12):
Oh man. I remember decades ago in the throws of lots of stuff going on in my life and illness and things. And, and the fantasy that I had was I want to go to Fiji and be in one of those huts over the water.
Let’s go. The three of us are going okay.
Sallie Wagner (31:36):
But book, it let’s go,
Well, you maybe answered this one because I have, if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Fiji? Yeah.
Sallie Wagner (31:46):
Yeah. And I’ve always wanted to go to my, as Spain. I have a, my, my first husband’s sister lives there. Uh, she went on vacation there many, many years ago and stayed, so, yeah.
Cool. Okay. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given? Ooh, that’s not real rapid fire. Is it?
Speaker 5 (32:09):
Sallie Wagner (32:11):
Golly. Uh, probably from my mother. Just do what makes you happy
Now? That’s good advice. And
Sallie Wagner (32:22):
That was hard advice. Cause it was like, I don’t know what that is.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
That’s for sure. We’re definitely
Multi-passionate women. All three of us. All right. Last question. Describe yourself. In three words, go
Sallie Wagner (32:37):
Multiple runner, creative power.
Oh, those are good. I like it. Fantastic Sallie. Well, where can people connect with you and learn more about you as an intentional life coach?
Sallie Wagner (32:50):
Well, they can check out my website. It is intentionallifecoaching.net. the .net is important. And they can always reach me at my other website for my real estate school. Cause I I’m contactable there as well. And that is prosperity learning group.com.
Perfect. So of course, all of Sallie’s contact information, her website, all the goodies will be included with the show notes from today’s episode and Sallie, your coaching and mentoring sounds so empowering and so needed. So thank you so much for sharing with us today.
Sallie Wagner (33:38):
Thank you so much. It was a joy to talk with you both. Yes. Thank you. It was
Great. Thank you. All right, everyone. Get out there and flourish. Well, that’s a wrap everyone. Thanks for joining us this week on the Flourish & Grow to CEO Podcast with intentional life coach Sallie Wagner. Be sure to visit our website at flourish.biz, where you can subscribe to the shows in iTunes, Stitcher, or via RSS. So you’ll never miss an episode. You can also find our show notes and resources there too. And while you’re at it, if you found value in this show, we’d love for you to leave a rating on iTunes. Or if you’d simply tell a friend about the show that would sure help us out too. Now get out there and flourish.