You’re listening to the flourish and grow to CEO podcast. This is episode 18.
Are you a lady boss making $50,000 to $100,000 in your business? And you’re ready to break through that six figure barrier.
Have you done a great job of creating a nice life as the ultimate gig master, but no, your inner CEO is calling you to greater Heights. You’re in the right place. If you want to create and implement solid fundamentals in your business without sacrificing fun.
I’m Pam Ivey, I’m certified in small business management and I concentrate in the areas of training and certifying real estate assistance, coaching and mentoring entrepreneurs in online business, marketing growth and profit acceleration. And I take men and women business owners aged 40+ to bucket list destinations around the world for a month at a time to work, explore, and live in community.
And I’m Jane Garee, known as the sales strategist for the non-salesperson. And I work with business owners who want to increase their conversion rate, shorten their sales cycle and have more impact and influence with the work they do all while having more fun with selling.
Hey everyone. And welcome back to the Flourish & Grow to CEO Podcast. Today, we have a guest who’s going to be speaking all about goals and achievement. Our guest today is Kristin Burke. Kristin is a goal achievement coach who collaborates with women, entrepreneurs and leaders to accomplish breakout performances. Kristin launched her coaching practice after advancing in her corporate career from an intern to a senior level director during her tenure with a Fortune 200 financial services firm, Kristin coached hundreds of small business owners as they developed and grew their practices. She has spoken at numerous annual meetings, regional meetings, leadership clinics, and women’s submits. And she also hosts the elite achievement podcast and I’ve listened to it so I can attest. It’s really, really good. So check it out. Kristin is married to her high school, sweetheart, Joe, and they have a [inaudible] six year old named Scarlet in her free time. Kristin enjoys finding flow through her hot yoga practice, running and reading. And Kristin is certainly in alignment with our flourish growth pillars. Of course, the vision and strategy pillar, because her mission is to help others maximize their potential and achieve their definitions of kind of sums it all up here at flourish too. So welcome, Kristin. We’re so happy to have you.
Kristin Burke (03:07):
Oh, thank you so much, Pam and Jane for inviting me to connect with your community and for that wonderful introduction, I feel so fired up and almost a little nervous. Like I’ve got some big shoes to fill. Yeah.
Never nervous on this show. That’s for sure. Well, today we wanted to really talk to you about goal setting and achievement because I know a lot of us, myself included I’m really good at setting those goals, but achieving sometimes can be a little bit of a challenge and it fits in perfectly with one of our flourish growth pillars, of course, vision and strategy. So can we start right in and ask you how you would define goal setting?
Kristin Burke (03:57):
Yes. And I love talking about goals tracking towards goals and ultimately helping people achieve their goals. And so I define goal setting as visioning, reflecting, brainstorming, and planning. Ideally goal setting is going to help you intentionally plan to grow in the various areas of your life that are important to you and Pam. For some people that’s to grow personally, Kristin for some people it’s to grow professionally for others, it’s growing financially, growing spiritually, growing in their health and their wellness. So the main purpose of goal setting is for someone to take control in his or her life and build a life by design that they want
Amen sista. I am all about that. And I know Jane is too. Why do goals matter to us?
Kristin Burke (04:58):
Goals matter so much because without them, we start to live reactively and, and without having these goals, things sort of happen to us and sometimes we’ll develop, um, victim mentality. But what goals can really do is they can empower us to be back in control, to be in the driver’s seat of our lives and to be striving towards everything that is important to us. And I, I think that this connects with your vision pillar is that if you allow yourself the opportunity to dream and think about what you want your life to look like, we’re gonna need goals as the milestones along the way to achieving that vision. And so goals challenge us. They help us to grow. They help us to go after what it is that we want in our lives. And quite honestly, if you set the right goal, they can be very energizing. If you set the wrong goal, goals can be very draining.
That really resonates with me, Kristin. And that’s so interesting that you talk about talking about it that way, because a lot of times we think, well, just goals. I’m just going to set these goals that I have these goals without doing the introspection that’s required or internal probing or analysis. Is this a goal that I really want to have in place for me? Or am I trying to fulfill somebody else’s goal for me, or really, why do I have this goal? And I mean, I can speak for myself. I can’t speak for other people, but I know I’ve been guilty of that before. Let me set these goals and then I don’t feel anything but stress and anxiety trying to reach them. And the reality is it’s because it’s not really a goal I actually wanted to meet. I convinced myself that I needed to have this goal and therefore achieve it.
Kristin Burke (06:43):
Jane, you are so spot on and, and I’ll go back to my corporate experience for a moment. I saw a lot of people set goals that were important to the company, and if they didn’t have a personal connection or a deep rooted, why that connected with that goal, they often struggled. And, and what I saw is, as individuals don’t have clarity, they don’t understand why they want to achieve a goal or how it’s connected to a bigger vision or why it’s important. It’s sometimes easy to give up when we face adversity and look, we’re all going to face adversity here. We’re all going to have disappointments on our goal achievement journeys. And so that clarity is incredibly significant and important to keeping us connected to our goal, to keep it us motivated in the direction of our goal and to helping us bounce back when we’re facing difficult times.
Kristin Burke (07:37):
And I really believe that there are a couple of reasons why we will set goals that aren’t necessarily true to us. And one is because we are so thick in a comparison society right now. And I know as a woman, as a business owner, I am super guilty of comparing myself in my business and my own journey to the women that I look up to and that I follow online. And I have to intentionally pause and ask myself, is this the business I am building? No. Then why in the world am I comparing my journey to this person’s journey? Or why am I comparing my beginning to someone else’s five years or 10 years or 15 years in business. And so I think that comparison really, really wreaks havoc on our ability to stay connected to our true goals and what we want to go with.
So, so true. How do you teach your clients and the people you speak to how to set goals? Do you work on the smart goal setting formula?
Kristin Burke (08:43):
I work on the Kristin Burke goal setting formula. So what I mean by that, Pam is when I’m working with clients, helping them set their goals, I’ll find out what goals they have in place. And quite honestly, Pam will start working towards those goals. But if I find that we’re wildly off track or it’s not working, or we’re not building a lot of momentum, it’s usually a brilliant time to pause in vision. And a lot of times, especially with women, they know they need a vision. They’ve heard to write a vision, they understand the concept of a long-term vision, but they really need some coaching and support and guidance around writing a long-term vision. So I love digging in with my clients and helping them grow the courage to dream really big, helping them address the fear that can come up when you’re writing a vision or thinking of a vision, it could be fear of failure.
Kristin Burke (09:40):
It could be fear of success. And I especially like talking about perfection because that was one of the things that held me back when I needed to write my first vision. And I’m super grateful that I was in a women’s leadership program that forced me, like it’s not forced, but one of our assignments was to write a vision. And without that assignment, I don’t know if I would have written the vision because I get so caught up in having it be perfect. But how in the world are we supposed to perfectly know what life is going to look like 10 years from now? So I’m really, really hashing that about helping women figure out a vision is a roadmap. It’s a draft, let’s get something going and we can start marching in that direction. After we thought that vision, then I take my clients through a reflection process because my belief is that if we don’t do that inner work, which I think is one of your pillars as well in our growth, if we don’t do that work and reflect and truly understand what’s happening.
Kristin Burke (10:39):
When we goal set, what happens when we achieve bowls, when we don’t achieve bowls, we’re going to keep setting these goals that we may or may not hit. So we have so much wisdom with inside of us within us, but we don’t always pause to tap into that wisdom. And then after we built a visions, we have an idea of where we’re going. We reflect. So we better understand ourselves. Now we can start to brainstorm. And I encourage my clients to think of their goals and those different pillars of their lives. That could be important, personal professional, financial relationship, marriage parenting. Everyone’s going to have a different set of pillars that are important to them. So we’re going to brainstorm all of our goals. And then, then here’s the really, really important part of all of this here, Pam and Jane is to identify our most meaningful goal.
Kristin Burke (11:27):
I think one of the reasons that a lot of times we get off track with all of our goals is we have so much, we’re grasping at so much we’re trying to accomplish, but if we can take a look at all of the goals and say, okay, this is my most meaningful, these other ones that are important, they back it all up, but here is the one I’m going all in on. I’m coming up with strategies every quarter to move the ball forward. I’m tracking towards this goal. I’m going to get additional help and accountability in the form of a coach
Or a mentor or a sponsor. Here is my goal. Let’s go. I think that definitely increases the likelihood of goal achievement.
I love it. And I just love that you said we’ve really got to reach for those goals. We’ve got to set larger goals and I know women kind of tend to reign it in a little bit. Don’t we? So that’s something that we really talk about when we talk about that pillar of vision and strategy. So that’s awesome.
The other thing that I think is really important to address too, is Kristin, you talked about having ment. And I know one of the most powerful exercises I did years ago is really identifying what my core values are because what I came to realize is looking at my goals. I had set some of the goals that they really weren’t in alignment with my core values. So for example, one would be running a multi-million dollar empire. Well, realistically, if you’re running a multi-million dollar empire, you’re not going to be hanging out with your friend, Pam in Australia for six weeks, you know, kind of working two and three hours a day here or there, and then, then going off to play. So when we’re in alignment, when any of us is in alignment with what we really, really value and then attach the goals from that perspective, it becomes incredibly powerful.
So I know my primary goal is freedom. That’s my number one value. I’m sorry, not my goal. My number one value is freedom and freedom. As I would define it would be not being tethered to really pretty much anything and free to move about the cabin. As I always like to say. And what I realized is that a lot of the goals that I had for my business, which were primarily financial or reach or something like that is they were, they were too aggressive and they were knocking the freedom component out. So when I really started to get very realistic about looking at these men, they were mostly women, but business owners who had these, just these massive empires and then having the good fortune to be able to interview them or talk to them. They don’t have a lot of freedom. They love what they do, but it’s because their value is, is not freedom.
That’s not their primary value. It’s a really interesting topic. So for people who are listening, I would really encourage you to start looking and doing a deeper dive into what it is that you value, because it’s going to be much easier to create goals that are in alignment with that. And one thing I know for sure is when I’m out of alignment, I’m very unhappy. And what I end up doing is trying to change my goals or reevaluate. The goals are then the benchmarks, the milestones that I’m trying to hit, and that’s the wrong way to go about it. I need to go back in and say, Hey, this goal, it’s in contention with my primary value. So what do I need to do to create a different goal that actually supports my value? Because the value is not going to change. When you try to start changing your values, that’s where the problems occur.
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Kristin Burke (15:37):
Agree whole heartedly, because, and this goes back. I think Jane, to comparison what we were chatting about earlier is that it’s so easy to compare what we’re building with. Uh, for example, some of the women you mentioned who have multimillion dollar empires, we don’t always see what’s going on behind the scenes. What does it take to build that empire? How much work is going into building that empire and does that align with the life you are looking to build? And I think it’s really incredibly important that you surround yourself with individuals that share like values. So then sometimes the feedback is more in alignment. I know I’ll, I’ll get feedback from different entrepreneurs and I’m thinking that does not connect and resonate with me. I feel like you don’t even know what I’m going after, what I’m trying to build here. So being able to articulate those values and then align your goals with those values is hugely important.
That is so awesome. We’ve got to align things with our values. That makes total sense. What can you do if you find that you’ve gotten off track with your goals, I’ve been there just saying,
Kristin Burke (16:44):
I think we all have, let’s just be real. We’ve all been off track with our goals. In fact, I had a goal to read the Bible twice a year, and so I, I’m not incredibly religious, but I, I just have this calling to connect with my faith. And so for the last two years, the last two years, Pam I’ve written down read the Bible. Well, first of all, that’s a pretty weak goal because like, what does that actually mean? And how do I measure success? So that was a weak goal in and of itself. But then I ultimately realized when I was goal setting this year that I keep writing this goal and not doing anything, anything about it. So what do we do if we get off track with our goals? Well, number one, I think it goes back to reflection and we need to ask ourselves why, because if we don’t do that part, we’re going to continue setting a goal and not really making progress in the direction of that goal.
Kristin Burke (17:37):
So we need to understand why are we off track? Is it because the goal doesn’t connect to our vision is it, as Jane brought up, the goal is in conflict with our values. And so we need to make some adjustments. Is it that don’t have the right strategies in place? I think a lot of people set goals, but then have no plan. And that, that was exactly what happened to me with that goal of reading the Bible. I was like, Oh, I’m going to read the Bible, but then I didn’t plan it out. Like, what was I actually gonna do to bring that goal to reality? And so I did some things a little bit differently this year one, I Googled how to read the Bible. You can find out a lot of things on Google and I learned you’re not supposed to go cover to cover.
Kristin Burke (18:13):
And I thought, Oh, I would’ve gone cover to cover my type. A brain would have been like start to finish. And so that was hugely helpful. And then I started talking about it. I find, if you start talking about your goals, other people start popping up in your life that can help you achieve their goals. And I found out I have friends who are focused on the same thing, and I’ve got people sending me an app and, and it was just incredible how the universe started to align to help me move forward on this school. So if you are off track, start by asking yourself why vision conflict, values, conflict plan, not in place or not the right plan. Are you tracking it? Oh my goodness. Do you know how much progress we can make? If we just keep our goals simply in front of us.
Kristin Burke (18:53):
And we check in, but I have found a lot of times as women, if we’re off track, we don’t want to check in because it’s like, we already know we’re off track. We’re already feeling terrible. We do not need to stare those results in the face. And I’m on a mission to change our mindset around that. And it’s not that we’re going to judge ourselves and say, Hey, I’m good. Or I’m bad. We need to use that as information to course-correct and pivot and create a new plan. So I’m going to recommend, we start with why, and then here’s the one that is going to be a little bit harder for people to face. But it’s so important. You have to ask yourself, is this goal still connected to my vision? And if the answer is, yes, we can’t give up on that goal. We have to keep working towards it, but we likely have to address fear because let’s be honest. We are all very bright, intelligent women. And a lot of times what gets in our way is not that we haven’t done enough research. It’s not that we’re not talented enough. It’s not that we’re not prepared. It’s, we’re too scared. We’re too afraid to fail. And we really need to work on growing our courage and our mindset so we can achieve our goals.
So well said so well said, and that mindset is everything I’m telling you. That fear of failure, even fear of success is something that can totally hold us back. But I just love that you called out the elephant in the room that women don’t want to look at that kind of thing. We don’t want to see that we’re off track or, you know, we’re, we’re just not going to attain that goal. I totally get it. But in an earlier episode, Jane and I talked about pivoting, redirecting, hitting the reset button. So if there’s something that you find some sort of goal that you’re finding difficulty in achieving, I wonder if we could hit the reset button and perhaps work at it from a different angle. I just love what you said there though. That was really calling it out to say that we’re actually afraid to go back and look at the data. And it’s so true, but nobody says that. So awesome.
Kristin Burke (20:59):
Thank you. Thank you. And I want to offer, I want to offer your listeners a very tactical practice to help with all of this. And so early in my business, I unintentionally created what I call the Friday ritual. It was, it was my very first weekend business. I think we can all remember that very first week. And I’m sitting at my counter ready to go. I’ve got some meetings booked and then a meeting canceled. A client I thought was going to come on. Board says no. And even a good friend that I had a connection call with bails on me. And I thought, Oh my gosh, I felt that wave of negativity. Start to build up in the chatter. The why did you leave your corporate career? You’re never going to make any money. Are you going to be successful? What were you thinking? The what if, what if, what if, what if you know what I’m talking about?
Kristin Burke (21:51):
So I pause. I went for a workout. I came back and I did one thing in the opposite direction of all of the noise that was going on in my mind. And that was my bounce back plan that I unintentionally created. And that then Pam led me to a place to start journaling every week, my Friday ritual. And when I journal my Friday ritual, every week, I take a look at my calendar and I intentionally write down what were my wins for the week. They can be personal, they can be professional. But what I found is that by the time you get to Friday, you don’t remember all the good things you did earlier in the week. You don’t remember that impactful podcast, you record it, or the client that had a really great coaching call with you. You’re typically remembering all the negative. So write down the wins, builds confidence, but then I will go and I will write what were all the lessons I learned this week.
Kristin Burke (22:44):
And that has really been the way that I’ve started to train my brain to rethink about failure. I want to recognize in order for me to grow, if I’m going to build an empire that supports hundreds of thousands of women on their journeys to achieving their goals, I’m going to have to take a lot of risks. I’m going to make some mistakes. I’m going to do things that I’m going to look back on in a couple of years and be like, Ooh girl, why were you doing that? And that’s where writing those lessons every week really helps me grow that courage to move forward. And then last, I’ll take a look at what’s coming up in the week ahead and make sure I write down my priorities. And it’s very important. This doesn’t become another laundry list of to-dos, but I’m intentionally picking one or two priorities that are going to move me closer to my most meaningful goal every week. Love it, ready, ritual.
And that’s something we talked about a couple of episodes ago instead of to-do lists because, uh, particularly as women we’re really good at to-do lists do a done list. So it’s really something very similar to what you were saying. It’s Everett write down everything that you’ve accomplished this week, when you’re feeling really down, bring that out and it can really, really boost your confidence, know that, Hey girl, you do have it going on. So I love it. Excellent. What do you think we should do if others around us, aren’t completely supportive of our goals because you know, that happens.
Kristin Burke (24:07):
Ah, yes, this is a tough one. And I think it starts with asking why, so starting to understand why they’re not supportive of our goals. So seeking to understand anytime we’re working with others or in a relationship with others, if we can start to remove our assumptions and gain clarity and seek to understand, I believe it serves us well, because I think if, if we’re finding out we’re sharing a goal and others around us, aren’t supportive, well, we probably go into that self-doubt mode and how maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I should go after this goal when really the others around us might not honestly know why the goal is important. They might need some more clarification to understand it. They might need to understand how does pursuing this goal impact our relationship and the way that we work together. So it’s a huge opportunity to clarify, but then also we have to remember that we are the only ones that get to choose the goals that we go after and what’s important to us.
Kristin Burke (25:09):
So if the people immediately around you, aren’t super supportive, there are hundreds of ways to find that supportive community. You need podcasts. This is free. Like anyone can listen to us chatting here today and find some of that support, inspiration and motivation. I know for me, that was the Avenue I turned to when I was thinking about starting my business, but felt a lot of that fear, walking away from a career that I loved and that I knew, I turned to the women who had done it and I listened to a bunch of podcasts and that grew my courage and conviction. There are books you can read. There are so many books that you can pour yourself into to find that support, that encouragement be around others. Who’ve done it just like you. And then there are a lot of different online communities that you can be a part of in different groups and organizations you can join. And I know everyone is on a different budget, but there are ways to invest in your goals and your growth and development. And you can join a coaching program. You can join a mastermind. You can find ways to, to become supported on your goal achievement journey. If you are willing to look and get a little uncomfortable. Yeah.
Yeah. I think oftentimes it’s people don’t understand where we’re going, perhaps, especially when you have an online business, the people who are not online, don’t always understand what you’re doing. So that can be one reason another one is, and it could be completely subconscious to them, but they’re jealous or feeling competitive about what you’re trying to achieve. So there’s a whole bunch of reasons. So I think you’ve had a great point there where you’ve really got to look underneath. What are the underlying reasons? Absolutely. Awesome. Let me see, what should I ask you next? Because you are just like a fountain of information about goal setting.
Kristin Burke (26:56):
I really, really nerd out on the topic, which is why I built a whole business around it. I love talking about it.
Do you recommend setting smaller goals or risking failure by setting higher goals? Bigger goals.
Kristin Burke (27:10):
Good question. I think it depends on how you perceive goal achievement. So there are some people who go all in it is all or nothing, and it’s, it’s perfection. And I might kind of fall in this camp just a little bit. Like I don’t really give myself all the credit if I haven’t exactly achieved the goal. So because of that, I’m more in the camp of I’m going to set realistic goals. That stretch me to grow a little bit, but sometimes look, I’ll be honest. Sometimes I set those goals so I can feel good about checking something off the list, but there are other people Pam who are not as caught up in that outcome and they’re more passionate about the journey and the growth. And for them, it feels super energizing to set this big goal and get close. I’m not a get close kind of person.
Kristin Burke (28:11):
I want to like meet or exceed it. So I tend to set again, realistic goals that stretched me. So I’ll, I, especially when I’m planning for business, I’ll take a look at a lot of different factors. And when I’m looking at how to set a revenue goal, I’m looking at what do I need to bring in to keep my household running? What do I need to bring in to run my business? If I want to grow my business, like I did this year, I added a virtual assistant to my team. I needed to factor that into my revenue projections. And then what do I want to earn? Is there anything that I’m wanting to do? Is there anything I’m saving for? And I’ll take a look at that number and be like, okay, is it more than last year? Is it a crazy growth bull? And that’s kind of how I go about it. It’s a little bit of strategy, a little bit of courage, a little bit of excitement, a little bit of nervousness.
Yeah. I think you and I really, really similar. I’m going to ask you one last question and that is what’s one goal that you personally would like to achieve in 2021.
Kristin Burke (29:17):
That’s an awesome question. So I have had on my heart for a while, the idea to create a course around goal setting and goal achieving. And so that is my big goal for 2021 is to launch a course. And I set out a lot of strategies in the first quarter and Pam, I’m going be honest. I really didn’t do anything in the direction of the school in January. And I’m doing my month in goal review. And the reality is hitting me like, Kristin, you gotta get it together. Let’s go. And so in the month of February, I’ve brainstormed this idea, I’ve come up with the name. It is the elite achievement goal-setting series pass. It is a blend. Thank you. It kind of goes with my brand and the goal setting, but it’s a blend of a course meets a workshop, meets live coaching. So in June I will be offering the elite achievement goal setting series.
Kristin Burke (30:21):
Registration is going to be opening up, come may. And this is a big deal for me. I’m very comfortable in the individual coaching space. It’s what I did in my previous role. I’ve been coaching since 2009. So to create content and deliver it in a different format, it feels very new to me. And I almost gave up on this idea. I got so caught up Pam and the logistics and overwhelmed. And do I need a platform? And how does all this come together? And, and thankfully, I went back to my vision and realized, wait a minute, launching the elite achievement goal setting series is a step in the direction of creating this community that I envisioned creating for women who aspire to achieve big goals, breakout performances, they’re ambitious. They also want to accelerate the growth in other areas of their life. And so that is the big goal that is coming out this summer.
And I know you’re going to do it well, obviously you’ve just publicly said, it’s coming out this summer.
Kristin Burke (31:25):
Yes, that is one of my follow through strategies. I know as I’ve looked at what helped me achieve past goals when I go public, I achieve them. It’s like, there are probably so many people in my life who would get so annoyed at me talking about running marathons. And I I’ve only run one since my daughter was born. I think I’m going to kind of retire the 26.2 mile races. And I’m going to stick more towards the yoga and the Peloton writing. But when I was running a lot of races, I would always talk about my running because it’s a follow-through strategy. I knew if I told someone, Hey, tomorrow I got an 18 mile training run. Well, I got to show up and get out of bed whether I want to or not. So going public is a huge follow through strategy for me,
Me too. Absolutely wonderful. Well, it’s been so enlightening, where can they learn more and where can they find you?
Kristin Burke (32:17):
Yeah. So the best place to start is go to my website. That is Kristin burke.com. And on the website, Pam, you will have an opportunity to sign up for my breakout plan. And that breakout plan is going to be an entry way into the way my mind thinks around goal setting. It’s going to help you identify your most meaningful rate, your competence level towards achieving that goal and give you a place to capture some of your ideas and strategies around that goal. Then also individuals can follow me on my own podcast platform, which is elite achievement. I’m on all the major podcast platforms and then the place where I’m the most social is on Instagram. And you can find me at meet Kristin Burke.
Perfect. Thanks again for joining us. And I’m sure we’re going to get together again, Kristin. Thanks so much.
Kristin Burke (33:13):
Oh, I would love that Pam, this has been such an awesome conversation. I so appreciate you and Jane inviting me to come onto your show today.
Super. All right, everybody. That’s it for the show on goals today with Kristin Burke, we hope you have a wonderful week. We’ll talk to you next time. Well, that’s a wrap everyone. Thanks for joining us this week on the flourish and grow to CEO podcast. Be sure to visit our website at Flourish.biz. That’s F L O U R I S h.biz, where you can subscribe to the shows in iTunes, Stitcher, or via RSS. So you’ll never miss an episode. You can also find our show notes and resources there too. And while you’re at it, if you found value in this show, we’d love for you to leave a rating on iTunes. Or if you’d simply tell a friend about the show that would sure help us out too. Now get out there and flourish!